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The Warm, Dark Circus

by Jack O' The Clock

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1.
Brother, would you talk me down?
 I’m afraid that if I stop this truck
 I will be tempted to reach in between
 the seats and feel the heft
 of my “just-in-case.”
 
 Slick earth and the ladder slipped
 and I landed twenty feet below,
 a broken back, bruised ribs
 and a pool of eggshell white.
 So much for pushing brushes.
 
 Came out of the hospital so deep in the hole
 they were suggesting I climb on my friends—
 prescribed enough “ocean” to drown a horse,
 my God.
 
 Brother, I am so afraid
 but not for myself no more.
 If I can’t provide, I’m worth more
 dead than alive, no man am I.
 No man am I.
 
 Woke up this morning when the screen door slammed.
 Guess the kid was heading off to school.
 I started east as soon as I found a box of slugs
 behind some paint cans.
 I am a descendent of the great William Clark,
 if only somebody gave half a crap.
 “You’ve had your turn!” is all I hear.
 Brother, when was that?
 
 There’s a place my father used to go 
to shoot off some rounds and howl
 as he got drunk off his ass
 and shattered all the glass
 in a graveyard of old television sets.
 
 I’m losing reception, man.
 I'm going to lose you. I’m going. I’m going.
 

2.
The streets are deserted.
 The night is cold and wet.
 The light turns uselessly to red,
 another empty threat.
 I’m bringing back your old raincoat:
 I haven’t used it yet.
 
 I don’t want any more questions— I told you I’m decided.
 Every answer you’ve ever needed from me
 I’ve already provided.
 You step out the door, troops in a line,
 come back home at night, divided.
 
 I was wrong,
 got little else to report.
 I exhausted all my options,
 used up my last resort.
 I tried my best, I stuck my neck out:
 I fell short.
 
 Well, there’s a vice grip on my temples.
 There’s a beam in my eye.
 The whole goddamn town smells like burning rubber.
 There’s something whining in the sky.
 I don’t care if you’ve got company—
 I’m coming by.
3.
I woke up to the rain
 earlier than I wanted to
 and felt a kind of click
 that seemed to set the world askew.
 You know that kind of click:
 you meet your own impersonator,
 become a spectator
 captivated by the cold precision
 of your own dead-end ways.
 
 And no one suspects a thing
 —your man does such a bang-up job—
 you’re stuck inside of Elvis,
 feeling like a tone-deaf slob
 and clinging to the mic—
 your spiritualism,
 your own anachronism—
 to keep yourself from falling down.
 
 And here she comes again
 like a dozen rotting roses;
 sadness swarms the room
 and gives the lie to all your poses
 and you just can’t tell
 connection from reaction,
 repulsion from attraction
 in the warm, dark circus of her face.
4.
Sage's Song 00:48
I found a little tune behind a cloud.
 It’s short and it’s sweet. It’s not very loud.
 Sing along with me—
 no need for crying, now!
 Look up and see:
 half moon.
5.
Strange that this place doesn’t spook me out,
 but it doesn’t:
 working the night shift locked away
 under government ground,
 roaming the stacks in a library of numbers,
 feeding and changing all the big
 number crunchers:
 fear would be a signal
 coming over the horizon.
 
 Sometimes I wander to the heart of the “black forest”
 where a sage sits in silicon
 with its head in an eastern desert.
 You know you can’t beat a steam drill
 with a single iron spike,
 so you lay down your tools and wait. 
 
         And the clouds are blowing by 
         —because I can feel them blowing by—
          If I could read, I would read them blowing by.
 
 I know there is a language for the alphabet of weather.
 I know that there are curves behind the numbers that I enter,
 but you don’t get the vision of a raptor in the desert
 without the hunger of a raptor.
 
 There was a kid who worked here
 who used to walk out in the hallways
 and look at the postings on the doors:
 bits of articles, cartoons and epigrams.
 Dürer’s rhinoceros kept him coming back.
 He said “I’ll never know how he could capture
 such a likeness without ever laying eyes on one.”
 
 I dreamed of a legless buffalo
 as I nodded off for a moment
 a couple of hours before the dawn;
 I felt a piercing gaze lift me from my chair,
 I felt the tail wag the dog.
 Wait a minute now:
 What resolution will turn a map to territory,
 will melt spirit from the stones? 
 
         And the clouds are blowing by 
         —because I can feel them blowing by— 
         If I could count I would count them blowing by.
 
 There is no end to it.
 My hands are busy, busy
 ticking off seconds, seconds.
 At dawn, when I roll down the mountain,
 I don’t watch the road, I only look to the plains
 where the sun appears at the head of a fleet of balloons
 and I laugh, because it burns like a myth,
 it howls like a bomb in the pit of my stomach
 and I don’t know what’s coming. 
 
         Take this hammer, bring it to my captain,
          tell him I’m gone.
6.
This is just what it seems: anesthesia, no one screams.
 No more straining after gold.
 No more struggling to hold.
 This is just what it seems.
 
 See the land slowly change:
 spread of alkali on the range;
 deeper canyons, weaker streams,
 wilder-eyed beliefs, thinner dreams.
 This is just what it seems.
 
 Horizon highway, Flying J
 howling through the town night and day.
 For every feeling finds a word,
 there’s an ocean won’t be heard.
 This is just what it seems.
7.
High tide at last in this world
 and you can hear the iron eaters:
 it’s a little tapping sound in the wires
 but it keeps you awake.
 
 High tide at last in this world:
 the speechless brutes come out of hiding
 and go bellowing at noon on the hardpan
 like a warning system test.
  
       The moment I perceived that I was living in record, 
       I saw the entire world as living in record.
 
 There’s a great clock hidden in these hills
 somewhere north of Ely where the air is still.
         It’s a funny sort of love 
       through which we stream to touch 
       with our mystery tools, 
       itching for memory.
 So, a black bear ambled down from the highlands 
at the end of another trading day,
 cornered me on the Embarcadero
 and edged me slowly back into the bay,
 and from the corner of my eye I glimpsed a figure
 on a promontory high above the bustle.
 I called out to him and saw that he was watching
 but he didn’t move a goddamn muscle.
 
 God loves you if you leave him out of it
 and exercise the faculties he gave you,
 and wield them like a broom
 to sweep him from the room:
 Order soothes, but it’s the paradox will save you.
 
 I felt a chilly draft come down the attic stairs
 and I called that movement breath:
 our Golem, if you need to name it,
 our brawn, if we only claim it.
 Add one letter, and it’s Truth in place of Death.
 
 World, world, world, world, world, world,
 born full-grown into a velvet zero, 1968,
 It’s growing late.
8.
I woke up to a perigean spring.
 The waves were washing right up Market Street
 and bunching at the ankles of the drunken wrecks
 and the beautiful elites,
 and everyone in town was walking backwards
 holding mirrors up in front of their faces,
 retreating into the advancing landscape
 of this world and other virtual spaces. 
 
         (Ooowee! They’re after me! 
         My brain stem is after them!)
 
 We’re wandering in a jungle
of our own design.
 We’re limping in a circle,
believing it’s a line.
 
 I am a man of numbers:          (There’s something flying over:)
 my brain is on my sleeve,        (the sun gives us a wink.)
 but there are some hard limits  (The shadow on the landscape)
 to what this old hammer could achieve. (moves faster than you’d think.)
  In earliest memory,
 riding on an elephant:
 feel those big, bony shoulders cranking sad and slow,
 and there are way too many balloons
 and too many faces, all festering,
 fucking festering with joy. All those footprints,
 all those footprints in the mud!
  
        Daddy, give me your hand to hold, 
         I think I’m growing old.
          Mama, feather-dust my room, 
         I’ll be coming home soon.
9.
Twenty stories in the air,
 Broadway far below,
 a figure is standing,
 his head full of snow.
 
 Rainy weather hit him hard,
 tightened up his belt,
 but I don’t think he’ll do it.
 More likely, he’ll melt.
 

about

A kaleidoscopic trip through the anxieties and possibilities of the present moment, the new album ranges through some of the weirdest, heaviest landscapes we’ve ever visited. Containing two epics that have been under construction as long as the band has been in existence alongside a handful of newer studio creations, it is the culmination of many years of experimentation and refinement lyrically and musically, a musical palimpsest.

credits

released October 27, 2023

Available on CD, with lush 16-page booklet, through
www.waysidemusic.com

T-SHIRTS and other new MERCH available at:
jackotheclock.threadless.com

Damon Waitkus – vocals, guitars, hammer dulcimers, piano, flutes, etc.
Emily Packard – violin, viola
Jason Hoopes – bass
Jordan Glenn – drums, accordion, synth
Kate McLoughlin – bassoon
Thea Kelley – vocals
Victor Reynolds – guitars, recorders, harmonica, vocals, etc.
Ivor Holloway – saxophones
Jon Russell – clarinets
Keith Waters – baritone saxophone
Karl Evangelista – electric guitar
Art Elliot – piano
Josh Packard – cello
Ben Spees – microtonal guitars
Myles Boisen – pedal steel

Words and music by Damon Waitkus, except "...And Who Will Tell Us?," music by Jason Hoopes and Damon Waitkus

Produced, recorded, and mixed by Damon Waitkus in Alameda and Oakland, CA and at Orchard Hill Studio, Brattleboro, VT.

Pedal steel recorded by Myles Boisen at Guerrilla Recording, Oakland, CA.
Mastered by Myles Boisen at Headless Buddha Mastering Lab, Oakland, CA.

Cover: ""The Rhinoceros," by Albrecht Dürer, 1515.
Raw material for illustrations generated using Stable Diffusion AI.
Final art composite and layout by Chester Hawkins.

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Jack O' The Clock Oakland, California

JACK O' THE CLOCK "presents a fine lesson on what it means to write songs that are at once approachable and human while simultaneously being incredibly profound in terms of timbre, depth of emotion, and harmonic complexity," Progulator.

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